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Hieronder een overzichtje van de grappigste vragen en antwoorden.



I tied a balloon to my dick and now I can’t undo the knot. The balloon is green. I have no telephone, please call an ambulance.


Dear Corey Ivans of Muskogee, IN,

Sorry for my late reply! Do not attempt to undo the knot, as there is a 50% chance that you will only make it tighter. Don’t gamble your dick!

Instead, mentally focus on making your dick physically smaller, a technique which you will find described in greater depth in the bookUnlimited Power by Tony Robbins. Your dick should easily slip out of the knot and the balloon will float away peacefully. The process cannot be reversed, so first be sure that you are okay with losing your balloon as well as some dick mass.

—Dr. Ricky D. Dickdoctor, MD




Help Dr Dickdoctor I am a desperate man. My large dick is picking up radio signals. I can’t sleep at night because it is rap music. How do I change the station on my large dick??


Dear Max Peyton of Camden, NJ,

Radio interference is a common problem in copper reinforced dicks.

The bad news is there is little you can do to control the frequency at which your dick receives transmissions. However, you canadjust the volume. Simple daily water injections at the base of the dick will greatly reduce the level of these signals.

—Dr. Ricky D. Dickdoctor, MD






mydick looks normal but when its outside in sun light casts a shadow in the shape of a motorcycle. im not one to believe in magic but is my dick a motorcycle??


Dear Theodore Hillen of St. Paul, NE,

Your dick is not a motorcycle, although you may describe it as a ‘hog’ if you like!

Just a little humor for you. On a more factual note, what you’re experiencing is an illusion created by light hitting your dick in such a way that it casts a shadow resembling a motorcycle.

I urge my readers to keep their dicks well protected from sunlight and use sunscreen of 45 SPF or higher on their dicks. Melanoma on the dick is the leading cause of dick death.

—Dr. Ricky D. Dickdoctor, MD